leaving now but...i saw her last smile.....

going off...now in the airport........thank god they had FREE internet!! yes! cal and yi ting are going to call me later....hope they do......you all should reading this when im still on the plane.....this is best june so far.....memories flows..in to my heart and soul........i saw her yesterday at the airport......picked her up......waited for more than an hour......but i dont mind.....i get to see her last smile today again and her beatiful face.....when she reads this she will feel nothing.....because she doesnt have that feeling towards me........but i like her......i wanna be with her......she is so smart and beatiful that it took all my depression and bad thoughts away from my evil polluted mind.......she means alot to me although we've only met for a while.....but i cherish every single moment together......i hope she gives me a chance, dont turn me down first.....her beatiful eyes and her beatiful smile deeply caught my eyes the first time i saw her, ever since then, its all her......i feel like this time i havent even tried, its not obbsession, not desperation, but love.......give me a chance......ill be back......im going to call ting now....so.....thank you all for the wonderful memories that gave me this morale boost to go back and face all the bad and evil......im refreshed....ready to battle once again.......hope this time the energy dont run out that fast........im out.....(cry...CRy.....)

Is my question right? im scared.....history is repeating itself....

back at suwei house after the washing of clothes in his clubhouse.....talked to yi ting, and just say somethin first, watever i say in this blog is my own, so those people that comes to talk trash or shit on my blog better just stop and STFU, if not, just say it in my face, im here and ready, so dont talk shit behind my back, say it in my face if you dare. back to my blog today, finally a day to blog, went to chalet for 4 days and 3 nights, slept with lots.....very fun....BBQ....WILD WILD WET......talking to cal and yi ting....JOLLY SHANDY.......im kinda in a rush now so cant talk all, ill say the overrall, and the tommrrow blog illsay wat happen each day for 4 blogs......right now just today, went to bowling with Hj and Cal, than they had to left so i played another 3 games after that, 5 games.....lol.....quite sucky cause havent played in 2 and a half years, later after that went to TM to go play INITIAL D in arcade, than after that went to eat cause i need to, went to get MC CHICKEN and it was pouring, and it reminded me of a song....but anyways....than went to block 876A and ate my MC CHICKEN than went to suwei house and went to wash clothes.....still deciding when to go back.......kinda want to play basketball on sunday......so...ya...tommrrow ill go and type a longer blog.....and for that, those that want to talk shit and all those crap, starting from now, come...ill be here waiting.....dont just come my blog and see my shit and start to diss me, GOT BALLS? COME!

the longest distance in the world-POEM i remember from a show

the longest distance in the world is not life and death, is that im infront of you and you dont know that i love you
the longest distance in the world is not that im infront of you and you dont know that i love you, but is that we love each other so much but we cant be together
the longest distance in the world is not that im infront of you and you dont know that i love you,
but is that i just cant stop the loving and thinking of you but i have to pretend that i dont even care about you..........

Another normal day in singapore.....maybe special..

went to katong yesterday than suwei and weeho and yt were suppose to go TM and meet us to eat dinner, than suwei wanted to play lan instead of going so...sorry yt....and weeho later came out for dinner....yt went home for tuition. me and suwei went to parkway after we were done to wait for weeho to come meet us for dinner......than yz was at parkway too, so i decided to go find her, suwei was walking around like siao, dont even know where he going...first we went to isetan and looked at toys....than we went to harvey norman...than i said why not we go look at some shops that sell SHOES? so i said follow me.....i just had this static feeling(sounds wierd) that yz was at royal sporting house, so we went there, and guess wat? i saw her! than she so pai sei than went back into the shop, and at this fery simgle moment, cal called me and its from her house(its not normal for her to call from her house if its not that i told her to call) so i thought it was some emergency or somethin, cal said she was very pai sei and very embarrased about the whole basketball thing going on sunday....so she going to call me back, than we walked passed royal sporting house and yz was gone...(sad....sad....) than we went to hawker centre and ate.....than later went to get bubble tea....later went home and suwei using com, so i didnt ask to use.....than suddenly hj messaged me a lil worked up about the whole i want to try my best to beat his friend which is cal's ex, so i explained that it was totally misunderstand and that no harm in that saying, just saying that i will literally try my best, to help cal get wat she deserves...just a little revenge, but hey, hj still friendly, i hope we cool......sorry on my part, apologize to everyone that knew.....than yz called me and we talked for almost an hour...chat about stuff....stuff...stuff...than when it was time to hang up, obviously i didnt want to hang up, so i said bye and waited, (shocked and surprised) she was on the line too after she said bye, so we played the you hang up first game(my name for the game) well...eventually she hang up first...so...hanged up and went to slp till now.......suwei has been playing O2 jam and age of mythology for so long...just woke up from a nap....now at katong with my roommate again....the 5th 6th time? ya...nothing to do...everyone is busy....

obviously-MCFLY

Recently I've been,
Hopelessly reaching
Out for this girl,
Who's out of this world.
Believe me.

She's got a boyfriend
He drives her round the bend
Cos he's 23
He's in the marines
He'd kill me

For so many nights now
I find myself thinking about her now.

'Cause obviously,
She's out of my league
But how can I win
She keeps draggin' me in and
I know I never will be good enough for her.

No, no
Never will be good enough for her.

Gotta escape now
Get on a plane now. yeah
Off to L.A and that's where I'll stay, for two years.
For cheating

I'll put it behind me(i'll put it behind me)
Go to a place where she cant find me. yeah.

'Cause obviously,
She's out of my leeague,
I'm wastin' my time
'Cause she'll never be mine
I know i never will be good enough for her.
No, no
Never will be good enough for her

She's outta my hands
And I never know where I stand
Cos I know I'm not good enough for her
He's good enough for her (for her, for her)

'Cause obviously,
She's out of my leeague,
I'm wastin' my time
'Cause she'll never be mine
I know i never will be good enough for her.
No, no
Never will be good enough for her

Regrets......Bored....EMO....

ya....regret alot of stuff until i dont want to talk about it anymore, lets forget about the pass, lol, iv been msging so so much this few days, so fun, i dont mind wasting those kinda money, although its quite alot...actually not la....but dont mind wasting.....msg yong zhi today, yesterday yi ting and talked to cal till like 3 sia....like so long.....my phone was so HOT!!! on fire!!! not funny, anyways, woked up at 12.20 and just hagging out at suwei house and than went to eat at suwei tuition place, than here i am online again, lol, checkin WHO's online....i really will die not using the internet everyday, its killing me not to be able to go on!!! but ya, i guess im not a soccer person, i dont even know how many people play in a soccer team..just EMO this few days like cal said....and ugly you are coming to see us play ball this sunday too, come la.....cal going too...its going to be so funny and fun,but me and suwei have to find 3 more people to be on our team this sunday or else its going to be a no show, and cal is like so excited.....but ya...i hate it when people is online and i cant be or i need to go somewhere else, to this time im going to be online, screw suwei weeho and yi ting...sorry la....want to be online.....

李圣杰--手放开

我把自己关起来只留下一个阳台
每当天黑推开窗我对着夜幕发呆
看着往事一幕一幕
再次演出你我的爱
我把电视机打开听着别人的对白
也许那些故事可以给我一个交代
你要的爱我学不来
眼睁睁看情变坏人怔怔看情感概
不能给你未来我还你现在
安静结束也是另一种对待
当眼泪流下来伤已超载
分开也是另一种明白
我给你最后的疼爱是手放开
不要一张双人床中间隔着一片海
感情的污点就留给时间慢慢漂白
把爱收进胸前左边口袋
最后的疼爱是手放开
不想用言语拉扯所以选择不责怪
感情就像候车月台有人走有人来
我的心是一个站牌写着等待
最后的疼爱是手放开
我把收音机打开听着别人的失败
啃咽的声音仿佛诉说着相同悲哀
你的依赖还在胸怀
我无法轻易推开我无法随便走开
感情中专心的人容易被伤害

cause you had a bad day....

woke up at 11, ate breakfast, no one is available today, guess im on my own than, i took the bus to block 201 where we used to hang out after school back when i was in tampines, everything changed, the shops are no longer there, everything, but one thing that never changed is the memories at that place, iv came a long way and iv learned alot....heard yi ting that yong zhi tagged on my blog, so came to katong to use come and this is wat im doing now, haven got lunch yet, but i guess im going to walk around and see the changes that i missed this 2 years that ill never be able to experience, the roads changed, buildings changed, people changed, yi ting said that the traffic lights here and there changed too, i guess thats true, but ill always remember the memories that i once had, sorry, kinda moody right now and not really down, but getting all the stuff in my mind out, feels better....suwei came to play lan with me, guess his the only one available and the only "loyal friend" lol.....but ya...first time play lan with him...and we went home after that, .and by the ways, chalet is from 20th to 23rd and BBQ is on 21st, i guess anyone can come to the BBQ cause its celebrating weeho's birthday on 26th and mine on the 30th, so ya, i want presents...lol....(back to normal now once it comes to presents...)

P.S thanks yong zhi for the definition
who is death anyways?

daniel powter-Bad day
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day........

The answer to everything

yesterday i sent my mom off to the airport and she flys back to taiwan, there i was at the airport looking for answer, the airport was the place that i left 2 years ago without an answer, i wanted and needed an answer, its time i get one, i decided to went to the temple in si ma lu and i went there, came out with an answer, not wat i expected, but pretty much wat i had in mind that it will, im not prepared yet, when its time it will come, go with the flow, trust faith, it will bring her to you and if its not yours it will be yours, if it is, it will forever be, thats was i got coming out from that sacred place, its not wat i wanted but i expected it, its been 5 and a half years and its time to put an end to this, i came back this time with my mind set that there will be an ending to my story and its time to write a new chapter and start a new life in my story, its time i let go and move on, the end......i than went to katong and played lan with weeho, it was a very fun experience, its been 2 years sinced i last played with this buddy, we played till like 7+ than weeho had to leave to get dinner for this grandmother so we left and i had to take my clothes from parkway so we took a taxi and i went to parkway and pick up my clothes and went on to send wee home than i went back to suwei house, we chat in his room for a while, than i talked to yi ting on the phone for like 1 and a half hours, than slp........

P.S by the way thanks yi ting.

from james blunt-goodbye my lover
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.................................

Definition of "Obsessesion"

went out for lunch with my guardian....than went to meet shiwen and janice and suwei at expo for MAss study...stayed there for a while than went to TM and just walk walk than went back to eat Bk with them...wats the definition of obssesion? can someone tell me that? explain what obsession means....y is it that no one can feel how i feel? i need a doctor, a person to explain why is everything going the opposite way i thought it would go, im not sick, but i want to talk to someone, someone that will sit down and listen to me and feels how i feel and can tell me what i should do and what has been planned in my life and whats happening next...someone...anyone....

from ashley parker angel-soundtrack to your life
There's questions, and answers
You'll never understand
I hold on, but let go
I give you room to breath
Remember, the best things
Will never mind to change

*A brand new start*

yup! i deleted my last blog and this will be the place to connect with me, this site is kingstontan.blogspot.com so come here everyday and i should be posting.....and lets talk about today......went out to play ball with suwei..than eat at TM MCSPICY taste so good after 2 years not eating and the curry sauce with the french fries....delicious!!!!! damn and the coke taste good too, also the garlic chilli sauce....my god....taste so good, i love singapore...miss alot of stuff that im going to regret not being a part in....but you cant go back in time, so those things that i miss, its going to be my regrets....kinda depressing now...a little bit...but better cause finally cal they all want to go out to suwei house and study tommrrow.....sweet...oh..shiwen is back and i msg yi ting pretty much the whole day...not the whole day but from morning till night.....just chatting......weeho is going out on a date with some girl that i dont know...so...dont think he will be at the MASS study....now struggling between 2 choices, ill know tommrrow, preparing for the chalet this few days...actually just been hanging out......and ya.....very depressed this few days....so if you are a friend...talk to me please, ill go top up my sim card just to msg even though its a waste of money.....ya...its 3.16A.M now......i think ill go slp...than tommrrow study!!!

BASketball and MAss Study

ah.....mass study today at cal house, janice was there and suwei and yi ting.....i went to ball with suwei and later left in a rush cause i had a dinner appointment with me my mom's friends...but mass study for like half an hour was quite fun, i loved it but calanthea just thought i was very bored, but she just doesnt get it, iv been away for 2 years and i want to be a part of wat they have right now, tuition together, going out on weekends...mass study.....all that i cant be a part of the 2 years and in the future, my mom chose for a me a route and there is no turning back, my only regret in my life is that i cant spent time with my friends during the most important days in our lives...its just sad that i cant be a part of this in my life and i am really sad and depressed to not be a part of....my mom spent her life getting me to the US and im not going to turn her down, ill finish my degree to repay her, but still, once time passes there is no turning back....i missed a lot this 2 years....and that is going to be my greatest regret missing this year...