Do i have a choice?

i decided to tell my mom, well not really but to ask her for the number to get air ticket. since she knows people.

turns out.....

i told her about it and she was off the hook, fired up, all angry cause im spending the money for nothing. she is pretty much threathening me.....pretty much...like she always does....and out of all those times....i always walked away and regret what i should have done.....

Do i have a choice?
time is on my side
money is on my side
god is on my side
faith is on my side
but mom, can you stand by me for one more important time in my life?

i grew up is a fucking screwed up family, parents divorced, grew up with an evil guardian, cry at night since i was 8 cause mom wasent around me, brought around the world to taste and feel the culture and adversity around the world to be better than anyone else. iv always rosed to the occasion....failed couple times....but overall iv been through struggles that brought me here, now im making a decision that iv never made before. a very important decidsion and very hard decision. can i just do this and move on? i might be better off telling my mom the whole story.
i consider myself one hella unique person that has come so far off with knowledge, people skills, personality(maybe not), intelligence, speed and as far as i know, i can do it, iv come so far to let my inner childhood destroy me.......but that dark cloud is bigger and bigger now......growing at a huge rate......work and everything has tied in with it....now mom?

jesus christ.

I'm holding on your ropes, got me 10 feet off the ground.....

january 2008
your only
your first
your last

my first
my only
my last

i ask
you answer
in the end

ill accept.

kiss kiss

omg....iv been getting so lazy and lazy that im not doing my work...not studying....only playing games and working.....im late on hw....everything....what is going on??? major slacking......i even had this thought of my dropping out and working for money and work from there for my future......i am like totally losing my mind........i wanna be inside your heaven.

new song chris brown-kiss kiss awesone song.

The laziness has been immuning itself.......

so its been all good, i cant say how much success im having at frys, i hope to get promoted in3 months cause i single handedly dominated my department and decimated the whole store......im being watched...as a rookie iv rose up to my challenge that i set myself and challenges and expectations that iv been given upon. but anyways.....mom changed her return date to december 10th now......i have to pay decembers rent.....lol....wow...car payment and all that bling bling spending.......i hope everyone had a good halloween....and im looking forward for thanks giving not cause im christian, but after thanks giving is black friday, which is the united states biggest sale of the whol entire year and im expectating that day to give me the boost i need to get promoted. well see....nba season started last week...so happy.....erm...iv been getting lazy everyday now and its harder for me to wake up in the morning now.....couple times i put out my alarm clock not knowing or remembering that it even rang......im just getting lazier and lazier....but for all you ladies out there.....im not getting fatter.....or putting on weight....simple just lazier......but eh....im looking for next january.....not happening, but i might be able to make a little somethin out for christmas.....not sure.....but i hope too.......cause its worth it......but anyways....god has been watching out for me...keeping me safe....good....nice boy....but can you just help that someone who i want you to help more than me? help her too.....cause she is more important than me....