Do i have a choice?

i decided to tell my mom, well not really but to ask her for the number to get air ticket. since she knows people.

turns out.....

i told her about it and she was off the hook, fired up, all angry cause im spending the money for nothing. she is pretty much threathening me.....pretty much...like she always does....and out of all those times....i always walked away and regret what i should have done.....

Do i have a choice?
time is on my side
money is on my side
god is on my side
faith is on my side
but mom, can you stand by me for one more important time in my life?

i grew up is a fucking screwed up family, parents divorced, grew up with an evil guardian, cry at night since i was 8 cause mom wasent around me, brought around the world to taste and feel the culture and adversity around the world to be better than anyone else. iv always rosed to the occasion....failed couple times....but overall iv been through struggles that brought me here, now im making a decision that iv never made before. a very important decidsion and very hard decision. can i just do this and move on? i might be better off telling my mom the whole story.
i consider myself one hella unique person that has come so far off with knowledge, people skills, personality(maybe not), intelligence, speed and as far as i know, i can do it, iv come so far to let my inner childhood destroy me.......but that dark cloud is bigger and bigger now......growing at a huge rate......work and everything has tied in with it....now mom?

jesus christ.