Alyve

When you want what you've never had you must do what you've never done

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Apologize.

happen alot lately, alot, new job, school test and everything, trying to manage 2 jobs and full time school and paying phone bills and rent and car payments...alot...bought 2 red eared sliders, 2 turtles is what i mean, regular small turtles, havent had a nice name for them, but ill think of one, erm, this one chick in school is like into me, but i guess i did the right thing and totally ignored her instead of giving her a chance to even dream about it ad stuff, i even drop badminton class since she is in it but mainly cause i need extra time to sleep in the morning. but ya, i rejected the second girl in my life. i went to a chinese supermarket and bought like $100 bucks of shit cause i missed it so much, like "yeos" lychee drink, soymilk, japanese instant noodles, milo and all that crap, all junk food but i really miss home, typical college student i guess you could call me now, eating instant noodles everyday like you see in movies and dramas, rushing to work and all that shit...but eh...i bought myself to it. my dark self has gone away for a while, im like neutral now....talked to yong zhi yesterday on the phone, it feels so good to hear her voice, dont know why, maybe cause no one else answered thier phone but ya...felt nice talking to her. i need to pay off all my credit cards cause i pretty much maxed them out and all that, but im doing good i guess oeverall, and just hanging in there, waiting for next year and hoping next year will be a much better year, i miss everyone, especially you. any names for my 2 turtles i would gladly take into consideration, but if not, i think i got 2 names i want to name them, since they look like they are a male and a female....

love this song.
Apologize-one republic ft timbaland

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance,
take a fallTake a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin newI loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was youBut I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Bridge (guitar/piano)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

My love


Monday, October 15, 2007

Reign over me

the devil striked back again today, almost took control of me, i thought i got rid of him a couple days ago, but today the anger of my financial status and work and school just built up and i almost cant stand it anymore. but that angel rose and told the devil otherwise.

i had this wierd thought these couple days,
is 10 years better?
is it a sign already that it was meant to be?
is it that im rushing a bit even though its been 7?
maybe i cant even support myself and no time now?
im getting this from a whole different angle.

anyways, reign over me by adam sandler was amazing, touching and heart breaking, at the same time, funny and stunning. great true story and a great movie, one of my favourites now. go watch it. and coming october 16th in USA, The Transformers roll out on dvd!!!! im going to watch it a second time.

oh and job is killing me, halloween is coming up though, we have a dress up costume contest at frys electronics, any associate that wins the most number of votes for best dress win amazing prizes such as a ipod nano or something. but i have no idea what i want to wear. any suggestions?

Monday, October 08, 2007

With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility.

With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility.- ben parker

too much going on,

too much stress,

too much frustration,

its gathering deep inside me.

im feeling power, a dark and evil power deep inside me waiting to unleash itself,iv been annoyingly angry, and annoyingly pissed these few days, i have that evil face on my look, the devils tasting blood. is it just me or is everyone around acting so FUCKING annoying. i dont know, but im feeling stressed out, never been so, and im having anger issues, i cant control it much longer, god please show me the way.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Fry's electronics

so i got a new job and im working at fry's electronics being a computer accessories sales person, but im transfering to courtesy associate or front check out cause im not really comfortable being there, cant be 100% efficient. but anyways, i bet everyones exams are all over, but mine has just started, im starting to save. but i need to save mroe cause the time is coming soon and i still haven got the basic tickets ready yet, so need to get them. other than that, i should be getting another job at blockbusters, and if i do, ill be working 3 jobs, so you need to know that working so much plus school work is all for you. cause you are worth it. take care

Friday, October 05, 2007

thank you

to calanthea, love ya, and i miss ya, take care.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

What a day

Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)[?] october 1st
The Bottom Line
You're the best person to solve your problems. Have an internal talk with yourself.
In Detail

Turning to friends and family members for advice is always a good idea, but ultimately you'll find the answers inside yourself. Right now, you are the best person to resolve your problems. What you need to do is to have an honest internal talk, a real down-and-dirty conversation with your inner self. Find out what you really, truly want. Then everything else will become obvious. The answers all lie within, so have some faith in your own way of thinking.

Im....too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car...



self explainatory.

Monday, October 01, 2007

it never ends...

yeap, aint her i guess. tried, dont work. went out for movies, bought flowers cause its her birthday, a whole bouquet of pink roses. paid for bowling, movie and lunch. money doesnt matter. i work for it, but its not there, no chemistry, just feels wrong. when will it ever end? this endless streak of isint her? please, make it end. now i just dont want to go there anymore, no more. back and forth. no more girls and no more anything, time to work hard study hard and get ready for next year. focus on the long term goal,stop spending too much money. its time i show the world and you. i want to say i miss you, but saving that till we meet will mean more than anything.