Alyve

When you want what you've never had you must do what you've never done

Sunday, December 31, 2006

diablo 2 lord of destruction

lol.....i love playing that game....i know...i like playing old games.....but they are fun...anyways....work new years eve and new years....lol...that sucks....anyways.....working working...working....and i guess cal is back in singapore now..so...ya...im still here......life sucks....peace out..

Friday, December 29, 2006

diablo 2

i guess they locked my account cause i was using map hack...but wat the heck...

and erm....

didnt go work today...a little flu...so decided to switch...so later at 10.30 am go work till 4.15pm.than at 5 again got work till 10....

gonna be really tired......but who cares.....i dont....lol

im still having cal sick..

Thursday, December 28, 2006

bad day....

alright....im getting emotinal breakdown now....right now...as im typing...i mean im like almost....crying....

i heard the song bad day at work....

so thought i come home and play it....

but in the end...

came out wasent realla a good idea since cal just left yesterday...

probably shouldnt have played it...

than i played another song.....

wats left of me...even worst...well actually bad day was worst....but anyways....

only those that were there with me this summer when i went back knows wat the song "BAD DAY" really means.....

but ya...gtg sleep...or im really going ot go berserk...

HAPPY BIRTHDAT YI TING!!!

today is my girl yi tings birthday....big day.....cause its at the end of the year....kinda sucks...but the heck.....so wish you a happy birthday.....enjoy yourself.....and have fun....too bad im not there..or we will HAVE FUN...thats for sure....

this blog is dedicated to my girl yi ting....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TING!!!!!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

calanthea was here

ya.....got off work at 9.30 and met with cal at denny's around 10.30 and than went to bowling alley but full so we went to wal mart and bought american pie's naked mile and watched it at my house...than i told them to sleep over than my mom bring them back tomorrow but they wanted to go back....so called her mom and her parents brought her back.......i think her parents angry cause my mom went to sleep so early....she usually sleep at 2 plus....but im sorry......but thanks for coming to visit me though......it meant alot......though we didnt enjoy that much.....naked mile was good.....

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

joy to the world

of jesus christ.....

watever...watever....watever!!!

la la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la,la la la la la la la la la,la la la la la la la la la,

we wish you a merry christmas....
we wish you a merry christmas....
we wish you a merry christmas....
and a happy new year.....

oh christmas is over....1 year have passed and its a new year coming....i hope 2007 will be good...

Monday, December 25, 2006

Ho HO Ho

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

and

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Christmas eve......

its now christmas......wow...

another year....

tommrrow is christmas and 3 days later will be ty's b-day....

ah.........im speechless....

Saturday, December 23, 2006

lights! camera! action!

i got back my video camera and its time i film some stuff....

christmas is coming......

and i want present.....

Friday, December 22, 2006

boring weekend.....

gonna work on christmas eve and christmas.....
all those people out there having fun.......have fun!
and i decided to use com to act as a distraction but...
diablo closed my former account and an account i just made...how gay is that...

Thursday, December 21, 2006

4 more days and its christmas.

too bad i have to work,
like any other christmas,
for the past few years,
it has been fairly boring,
and fairly depressed,
but this year,
its nothing different,
so, im used to it.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

time i rise up.

all those trash talking and all that shit came down to today. yes, something happen, i dont want to say it, its financial shit. but ya. realize something. its my job now to work and study and save and stuff, not time to have fun like any other people.

im born with this life.
its a gift, i have to be mentally tested throughout my life to learn and see through life
its a curse, i dont have a good life like those rich kids have.
its a lesson, to make me into a better man than i am than my father.
its a path, that im bron with and to get off that path, i need to be tested.
its a test, to see if i have the determination and will to overcome my genetics of my dad
its a class, that no money can buy you to be in it.

and now, im not depressed. if you know me, you know that i love challenges and excitement. i was going to have fun on christmas and enjoy myself with cal, but after today, its time i come to realize that friends are important but my future will determine my relationship with my friends.
so ya, i have to work on christmas, should be if my boss decides that i can work on that day again. but now, its time i rise up to the challenge, test,curse,lesson and fight it through.

i guess im depressed to learned that ill be working from everyday now on and not having enough slp and sleeping in school and going into college and doing what i have always been wanting to have, a teenagers adult life. working eveyday and eating instant noodles and stuff. but i got a better life than them, i have my mom here to be there for me. so im lucky.

its 11.30p.m now, half an hour later, its time i start a new life.

a new life that ill rise up from

a new life i would like to call.

RISE UP.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

complaints

wow, second day back to my job and i got complained!
i love it....
so ya...well see how tommrrow goes and if i really got sued or watever,
ill take that bitch on. watch out. and for that bitch here is the answer

IF YOU WANT SOME! COME GET SOME!

Monday, December 18, 2006

fulll time

so ya, my schedule now is working everyday from 5 to 10 at night.....every single damn day....ya....working for the MONEY.......

i know....tired right now....but im fired up.....but anyways......gotta go study for chem test and econ test tommrrow.....

Sunday, December 17, 2006

New years revolution

christmas coming,

yt birthday coming,

cal coming,

new year coming,

i dunno wat to do,

maybe just dont care?

well, im okay with christmas and new years......its been so long since i really celebrated christmas and new year, im going to be working on those days.....so ya.....i would love to celebrate it...but here in america? theres no point...without my friends or relatives.....but ya, its going to be lonely and boring those 2 days.....

The Champ is back

im back, come is back with me

ready to roll

lets rock it!

Friday, December 15, 2006

The return of the champ?

my com in the repair process, ya....if they dont have a hard drive since its past 3 years, ill get a new one!!! ya!!! good present for christmas!!!! but anyways...heard that cal is coming, excited about that, but ya....i need a job...i need money....i need to stop being to tired and lazy.....time to be back again, but im doing good i guess......

the champ is coming back........

soon....

Saturday, December 09, 2006

HARD DRIVE CRASHED

My hard drive crashed...so ya....probably wont be on for a while......maybe after christmas....but ya...if anything just msg me and ill call you.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Prom

my Prom sucked last year...no date.....no fun.....

i guess in life you just gotta miss something....

wat can i say?

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

WARNING!

WARNING!
This blog is just a way of realeasing what im feeling right now. if after reading blog tries to make a negative or bad or mean statement or comment, it will go againts copyrights kingston 2006 and will be brought to the court of justice. thank you, peace out and have fun reading.
im just getting stuff out of my heart now, and i feel much better, so after YOU whoever reads this blog, im saying its just realeasing my anger and my frustration but if you really are pissed and dont agree to my statements, next time when i go back, its on, you want some come get some!
but its all over, choices, they decide your life and your future.
iv not been a school and study person my whole life,
i never did well on my PSLE that lead to me going to Tampines,
its no bad school, i can make the best out of it,
but coming out of it. might not be the best to my mom.
my mom, she is the soul and support and root of my life, she sacrifice all for me,
and what i can do is to do things to make her happy, while she is still here for me.
follow her orders, follow what she has in planned for me, my life, my future.
even if i want to live my own life, now is not the time, its when she leaves me, before than
ill try me best to make her happy, im bad tempered very easily. but i have patience which kinda conflicts but i dont see how that doesnt make sense. i argue with her alot, but we still love each other. but bottom line. the only regret for leaving and coming here is that i miss the chance other guys would have in the past or in the future, the chance to make you feel safe, make you feel special and make you feel loved. im just not the one i guess. for you that is. iv always just had these feelings that someway somehow we sorta connected with eachother. but i guess i was wrong again. few years ago your friendster profile had you being all sad and depressed. but after i saw you change it to look more optimistic, i was really happy for you, at least you are happy, but than i fell into the trap you came out of. before i was very optimistic, but time was right at that time and everything just kinda went away, my happiness, optimistic view of life and everything, i became maybe you can say, annoying,ignorant and other words that i dont usually use and dont know. i dont want to make your life miserable, annoying, and tired. i want to be your friend or maybe you want me out of the picture forever. i dunno, cause i dont even know if i would be able to face you once you meet the one that deserves to be with you. i dunno if ill be able to look in your eye and tell you you chose the right one and im happy that you are happy. i want friends now, i need friends. throughout mylife, its been hard and all you those out there trying to tell me wat to do here in STATES like getting friends and stuff just STFU, cause you dont understand things work here, never study here and coming to the city and the community im in, maybe your other friends say otherwise, but for me its different. since i came here, 5 good friends have always been my support till few years ago. totally broke out. i dont want to go over it all over the reason and stuff again. its tiring. but now that you have read till here, IM NOT DEPRESSED! im just blogging. ya, so going back, i tried to look for friends here, but it aint that simple, i have friends in school, im well known in school, very popular, i mean 3/4 of the school know me. thats alot. so ya, but sometimes its easy to have friends but hard to have a best friend and someone you could take to like everyday or msg or call. i had 1 best friend, that was weeho. but after i went to tpss, we lost that connection as best buddies. but we are still good friends, i met a good friend even as close as brothers, my roomate, Fu jiun, we live together, we sleep together, we study together, we eat together, we do everything together, we were brothers. and even when he doesnt call me ever since iv been here, when i go back, he was the only one that will say, "hey, if weeho or the others cant come out with you, call me, ill accompany you." he was the one that would cancel meetings and gatherings for me. im not saying everyone else should do it. but it just makes me sad that people can say" cannot la i not free, today going with friend to watch movie." dude its A FUCKING MOVIE! i watch almost 40 movies during summer break, they have something call DVD! but hey, its ex and sometimes renting is ex too but so wat? if its a movie that you missed while your america friend is here, i think its worth it that you spent time with him or her and go back and rent that damn tape or dvd! i dunno im just rambeling here, im suppose to go to sleep, but this summer i went back, everything was different. the 6 of us. all apart. maybe a couple was still close, but i was out, of the picture. and now the thing i think about almost everyday is, this, picture it. 5 years later, kingston goes back to singapore and starts working and find a job, wow! he has 5 other long friends but guess wat? they changed too! work, job, bf and gf and other friends. im going to be all lonely and making new friends. ya new friends, but guess wat? i dont have a fucking best friend. my roommate is not my best friend, he is my brother, i treat him like one and he does too. and brothers in our case, dont talk much, when we are in trouble, the others stick up for you, but other than that, just calling casually and catching up will do. where as other people in my life, friends, can be my best friends that can talk to me or call me when they feel down or watever. ya feel down. guess wat? listen to this, i guess ever since iv been in singapore till now, 10 years now? no one and no one, had ever call me and go"hey kingston, i feel kinda sad and lonely can i talk to you for a while?" or go like"hey, im kinda bored and lonely, can you comeout with me and hangout?" NO ONE! hey im asking for a best friend and im also selling myself to be a best friend. but guess maybe my definition of best friend might not fit you all, dont matter, i tried this, tried to walk alone inside this pit of danger, no help or any other source, walk alone, keep everything to myself and just get through this 4 more years of college and maybe another 2 more years for masters. i tried and its working well, even now its working well. i feel good, powerful, feeling that the power and the determination within me is getting me through this. but no one can always stand alone, but i guess till the day i fall, ill just be looking for a best friend or somewat a good friend. so i ask the question because everytime i call, it seems like you are the only one out of mostly everyone else other than CALANTHEA that picks up. its like i feel the connection maybe not love wise but as a friend, i think we can talk, but sometimes thats not the case, you know why. but so i just want to ask if we can still be friends and if i can actually call you and talk and chat and you can call me and talk and chat but not make you feel annoying or uncomfortable. or do you want me out of the picture.

as long as you are happy

i have to forget about it, its tough, but i have to,

dont matter if i wait for another 10 years cause i still wont have a chance to prove myself

so go on,

lets move along with our lives and

find the one we are meant to be with,

or maybe just be happy with whoever is close to you.

cherish them

but as long as you are happy, im still here for you.

thank you

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

obsessed

i asked, and no surprise its a no.
it thought it the whole morning
i just didnt have a chance to try
pri 5 and 6 were still kids
sec 1 i got too playful and forgot about you
than i had to leave and come to america
you are the only regret i have coming to america
i regret not having the time this 3 years to try to chase you
to let you feel the way i do about you...
my biggest regret of my life
but i looked back and think that i can forget you and just be good friends
i tried, i cant, i dunno why, maybe im really obsessed with you or i just love you too deeply,
that i cant get out of this quicksand, im almost down to the bottom.
every girl that walked by didnt want to pick me up...
so now im there left alone drowing.....
i dunno wat to do.
i still want you as a friend, but i dont see how thats possible if im obsessed
or if i still love you so deeply.
i need a cure
but who or what is the cure?

Monday, December 04, 2006

im nervous

are you ready?

Saturday, December 02, 2006

my confession

6 years

6 years ago, i told you i like you
at that time, you told me you're not ready
a year later, i told you im still waiting
but you just told me to stop waiting

5 years ago, i told you i like you
at that time, you told me you're not ready
a year later i told you im still here
but you told me to just find someone else

4 years ago, i told you i like you
at that time, you told me you're not ready
a year later, i told you ill wait no matter how long it takes
but you told me to give up

3 years ago, i told you i like you
at that time, you told me you're not ready
a year later, i told you you are worth the wait
but you told me that you are not worth it

2 years ago, i told you i like you
at that time, you told me you're not ready
a year later, i asked if you would give me a chance
but you told me to drop the subject

1 years ago, i told you i like you
at that time, you told me you're not ready
a year later, today i ask you if you are ready
i dont know what the answer will be.

Friday, December 01, 2006

is it going to happen?

can i ask her?

should i ask her under such short notice when my things are not prepared?

should i do it another time?

should i plan it out?