Alyve

When you want what you've never had you must do what you've never done

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Pictures-they bring out the thousands of emotions and feelings that one is feeling when one looks at it

thats my definition of pictures, and it happened today, i was surfing through and going to friendster and thought i visit ting's site....so i went.....and i saw new pics...cool...i took a look.....than it came, i saw the picture that everyone was in there, sw,sw,wee,cal,ting,yz,jam.........when i saw that picture, first person i saw, shiwen, tears went up to my eyes like at that very moment, ready to come out when im ready to cry, it was that bad, i saw shiwen...her smile is still that beautiful, as if there are no troubles in her, iv not been talking to her, cause i want her to concentrate on her studies and until november i can ask the question again, so i dont wan to give her any distractions or troubles now, but i saw her again, still that pretty, that......shiwen....and than next i saw yz, for some reason, beautiful as she was with that smile, its not hedious, you are not, i like your smile and everything, but as wierd as it was, i was going to cry when i saw shiwen but when i saw yz, i relaxed....it calmed me down, her smile made me feel like there are more hapy things in this world than to be depressed..... her smile makes me relax and happy when i see it, but its just im not that lucky to even get a chance to try to actually "chio" her, so there it is, the 2 prettiest girls that made me have so much diffrent feelings and made my life so full of colors that made me happy, sad, confused, angry, frustrated and unbearable................ and its just probably my abd luck that she doesnt have feelings for me too, so i guess im just bad luck.......but she deserves someone better than me, more funnier than me, more caring than me, someone who can be by her side when she needs and not like me, trash talking here saying im always by her side but in reality im no where near there, she deserves someone way more better than me.......
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so today is labor day so we got no school.......went out to eat than came home and watch tv..than went to restaurant and get the bills and money done......and im happy that i get to see shiwen again with a deep and strong feeling in my heart that we cant see each other........(i know, its one party only me feeling that way).....but i got to see her...thank you ting....i love you too! so now im feeling kinda girly for talking so much, im the champ and the king, i dont cry! so champ is here, and i got 2 questions right away from yesterday's 3 question with the champ/king....that is good...so now i got 2...keep it coming....remember only 3 per week....so ask as plenty as you want and you might just get your answer.....i think i should do maybe 10 questions or 6? well see depending on the no of hits and feedbacks...thank you all thats been a part of my life, iv learned alot just being by you all, thank you for most of all, my mom, for letting me know who i really love right now and who i really want to be with right now and letting me know the taste of regret, the taste of loniness, the taste of one party love, the taste of liking someone but dont even have the chance that i deserve to "chio" her...............im out!

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