i just want a.....
......normal and peaceful life, like any other teenager......this is meant for those that understands me.....but read my last blog and thats just a part of it......my past is wat made me who i am now too....y cant i just be a normal kid like any other person on this planet? why not be like weeho, born in singapore.....lived his whole life there.....having fun everyday with stress of course...ill exchange life with him if he wants.....why must i be the one that is born in A and flies to B and live for 2 years than go back to A for a year or 2 than goes to C to stay than goes back to A and stay for a couple more years than goes to C and stays for 5 to 6 years and than goes to D to stay for 3 years....i have no friends in D, no friends in A no friends in B just a couple good friends in C...that dont understand what im going through.......why cant i just be a regular kid like other? is this really my destiny? is this really wat i am? is this really what i should be? i dont want this, i dont like this, i hate this, i want out of this, but all this comes down to my mom's one old sentence, "i sacrificed so much to get to U.S to get a better education to at least get a job when you grow up to even just feed yourself, i dont hope that you will be good to me, i just want to give you what a mother should give you, the BEST, if you dont want it, tell me! ill get you back to singapore or malaysia or taiwan to study, you choose! ill do it!" with that sentence, i have nothing to stay, im now here for my mother, not for me, i live for my mother's wish, not mine, i live just because of my mother, not me..............................ill always remember those words, "with great power, comes great responsibility, is this my gift? my curse? do i like my life now? i HATE it....
posted by kingston @ 4:20 PM
1 Comments:
though i seriously hate you now,
but i cant help but to tell you this.
but let me tell you something.
you see, everyone have different lives. our parents have chosen for us that we should live in singapore and study. but everyone's situation in singapore is different. some might not like the life in singapore. not going abroad to study doesnt mean that we are having a good life here. for some, they would rather go abroad to study, thus they think that living in singapore and studying here sucks.
since your mum thinks that you can get better education there, then why not just make the best out of it? you dont really have a choice since she said that, so just live with it. she does want you to lead a normal life but things doesnt always go the way you want it. and anyway, just because you've not seen others who are like you, you think you're leading an abnormal life. let's say if you have a bunch of friends who lead similar lives to you, you'd probably think that's the norm and be happy with what you have already. and there really are many people leading such lives in this world.
why are you comparing yourself to wee ho? you know his situation too right. how'd you know he isn't upset over that matter, you cant tell, he probably hate it that he has such a live too. so what if he appears to be having fun all the time. everyone has their own difficulties. he has accepted and gotten over it and choose to be happy, not letting those matters crush him. see, maybe you should do the same.
yea, maybe we cant understand what you're going through, but we're dead sure that we wouldnt be as miserable as you if we'd have to lead such lives. we will make the best out of it. who wants to live in misery for like 5 to 6 years? no way, that's pathetic. so why not do something about your situation, dont be picky, cause you dont have a choice.
and, "my past is wat made me who i am now too..", that is because you allow yourself to change to suit the situation and for the worse. you want to change, can. but change for the better. why? why cant you stand up for what you think is the right thing to do? why let yourself be what the situation wants you to be. if the situation wants you to feel like you're the suckiest person in the whole world, you're just going to follow it and not oppose it. stand up for yourself! what made you who you are now is yourself. if it weren't for your attitude towards life, you wouldnt be in this pathetic state, think about it.
i know you wont accept what i say. you're just not the kind of person that's open to suggestions. but i really hope you will listen and maybe follow? what's the point if you find someone who can understand you and agrees with what you say, the person cant bring you back? your mum already said that, so nothing will change it. friends are there to listen and to give advice. and you are suppose to take the advice and not keep complaining about the same old matter. dont you think its pointless since nothing would be able to change the fact that you have to stay there?
i seriously hope that you'll listen and not turn a deaf ear to this just because it doesnt agree with you. and please do not take your friends for granted. you'll lose them one by one and be worse than what you are now. be glad that you've even friends now, judging by your character, you will just annoy everyone and wouldnt have any friends. treasure them.
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