Alyve

this is us?

2010-05-05T15:02:00.002+08:00

either its emotions building up, or just that im wierd.

but i think its because i always keep things to myself and i dont express it out and say it out and share it out like other people do. thats why im the way i am now.

but i dont have the privilege like others do to have friends that they can chat till 3am about a girl or a guy they just met,

about school,

about life,

about parents,

about dreams,

and maybe its excuses, lame excuses from running away from the truth.

but this time, i dont even have the balls to step up and make a move.

i think its cause im scared,

im tired,

im sick of getting rejected,

im sick of awkward moments,

im sick of thinking about things like that,

a good friend once said, when love comes, you cant even stop it.

a good friend also once said, if its meant to be, it will happen.

another good friend also once said, time will tell.

but i think its time i accepted the truth, accept faith and destiny and accept what iv become.

a lonely, single, self minded, childish, man.

i might not come back again,

i might not see you again,

i might just walk away forever,

i might just pass up this chance between us,

but i dont have the sign and i have too much to lose.

im sorry.

Am i sick?

2010-04-23T01:21:00.002+08:00

8 years ago, i fell in love with ou when i first met you, but you were attached, and 8 years later, the feelings are starting to come back now that you are single....should i tell you? or should i just walk away and maybe someday regret this decision.

April! 2 months and 87 days till 21!!

2010-04-06T01:38:00.002+08:00

And so we have come to April, the month of Easter, April Fools Month that officially kicks of Summer sorta......a catch up real quick

1) girl problem- no more, just rather leave and move on

2) work- AWesome as usual

3) vacation- want to go back to taiwan and singapore of course, every year i dream about it

4) electronics- bought a mac book and its AWESOME!!! now i want a imac, iphone, ipad

5) money- eh, need to spend less.

Ill be back again alyve, i swear, ill post more. im sorry im not posting enough my dear blog... :(

ATO

2010-03-07T13:16:00.000+08:00

Fraternity ATO.

Sometimes girls just not meant to be.

Feb 14th 2010, Best and Worst Valentines day ever.

2010-02-21T17:47:00.002+08:00

So, with all the drama, work, school going on.....from last blog till now.....

valentines day arrived....
before this i met this girl, pretty, well-mannered,polite, kind, heart of an angel.
she plays basketball,loves techo, purple,hangout,sleep,people person.

iv only seen her on the basketball court, no where else, so i found her name and facebooked her.(kinda lame but yes)

Her name was Alyssa.

Sunday feb 14th 2010. i woke up bright and early still pondering and scratching my head as to if i should ask her out on a date on V-day. i did, i went to the florist and got some CUSTOMIZED flowers and went to her dorms and left it downstairs because outsiders cant enter. 1 second later i facebooked her to check her mail downstairs. she did. and she texted me.

Alyssa:" thanks for the flowers, it was really sweet of you"
me: i hope it brightened your day"
Alyssa: it sure did"
.........................conversation went on and in the end i got her to go on a date with me and we watched valentines day the movie and ate dinner. AND found out that we are in the same japanses class so that means iv known her for more than a month and we dont even know..lol..than i took her back.right after i left i texted her something that no guys should text to a girl(thats whateveryone says)

me: "i hope you had a fun night, i dont do this often and you are actually the first girl to say that it is okay to hang out on V-day"
Alyssa: "Yeah! i had a great time! thanks for the wonderful night!"
me:" you wanna hang out tommrrow?"
Alyssa:"

no she did not reply that message.

the next day feb 15th 10.59a.m
me:"hey"
Alyssa:"

8.00p.m
Alyssa:"oh hey im sry i didnt reply to your text, been sleeping literally all day"
me:"oh its cool, hows your head?"
.............................went on and on and on....and she fell asleep after that.
at that point in time, i think i have fallen for her.maybe im "exzerrating" but i do believe love at first sight.

later on tuesday i saw her working in the library.
later on wednesday we had class and we ate lunch. during lunch she asked
Alyssa: "are you done with class?"
me: "nope"
Alyssa: "you have a class after this?"
me: "nope"
Alyssa:" ?????"
me:" i skipped class today.
Alyssa:" y?"
me:" cause i wanted to have lunch with you."

at that point i think i might have rushed a bit, maybe too much.

at that night she palyed bball and her team won and thursday she had to go to arizona to see a friend, and i didnt want this weekend of not seeing each other or talking be a barrier, so i decided to let her know because 4 days in arizona aint gonna change her feelings if she already has abit of feelings for me maybe not as much as i have for her. so after her game.........and she already she has a ride to the airport the next day

me: hey:)
alyssa: hey whatsup
me: i just got off work early cause too many people working, you ate?
alyssa: yeah im just gonna go back up and see more games
me: you going out tonight?
alyssa" yeap!
me: what am i gonna do the next 4 days without sunshine?
alyssa: party!
me: its not the same without you....
alyssa:

she didnt reply....

thursday feb 18th 2010 1p.m
alyssa: hey are you busy today? i need a ride to the airport
me: sure you done with school?
alyssa: yes i need to get there at 3.15
me: lunch? i just got out
alyssa: im eating and drinking with some friends now.
me:.........what time you want to leave?
alyssa: oh its okay, i got another ride, thanks tho.
me: well im still free just incase something comes up, have fun and have a safe trip!!!
......at that point, thousands of knive hit my heart and stabbed, twisted, and it bled. like hell.

i thought to myself, is it just my fate that everytime i fall for someone, it just isint meant to be?
y? y does others have a chance to experience love and for me, its just failure after failure after failure.
alyssa has slowly dug a hole in my heart....little does she realize.....

so this weekend is boring.....lonely...just as the same other weekend for the past month before V-day....
well lets hope things turn around this coming week!!!!!!!!!

Jan 26th 2010

2010-01-13T14:09:00.001+08:00

why the hell is everything on Jan 26th 2010, iv never seen it like this before

I have to complete 2 of my homework by Jan 26th
The milk that i just bought for cereal expires on jan 26th
And well we know whos birthday is on Jan 26th

and i believe im going to see more theses couples days...

is that a sign?

2000-2010 One decade's end is another decades beginning.

2010-01-01T15:10:00.001+08:00

i like to wrap up this decade to those that care about me and look at my blog or are just browsing through. these are the top highlights of the decade as we rewind back in time.

2000- finished primary 4 and mom came to the states then and she has been planning me to go and i got into EM1!!!!

2001- i got the highest score in science beating everyone in my class in one of our exams i still remember. those were there again would know the memories that bring back and it was the first day of school that we transfer to that room that i laid my eyes on her and couple months in later, i was in love till now...

2002-those that were there know these goot memories are the best. primary 6 in Rss, i got to sit next to the girl that every boy in that school dreams to sit next too.

2003- finished secondary one and got first place in higher chinese exam in the whole sec 1 beat that!

2004- came to the states in march and got enrolled into the awesome rocklin high school!!! started working in restaurant as helper, than chef and stuff.

2005- got my first job in panda express and earned my first paycheck

2006- got a job in mcdonalds and worked 2 jobs at a time

2007- got a job at frys electronics and worked 3 jobs at one point in time and i got promoted to manager in mcdonalds and i graduated high school!!! and was admitted in to college

2008- Got my first car in december

2009- turn 20 and officially is techically an adult in asia but not here...

THIS DECADE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN....

Another Decade

2009-12-15T16:38:00.002+08:00

another decade is coming to an end as we know it, lots have happen this decade.

alot of first times have happen in this decade.

lots of sadness, anger, frustration, happiness, fear, contempt, surprise, joy.

but as we come to the end i think we should ask ourselves what have we learned, what have we accomplished, what have we failed on, what have we missed and most importantly....

what are our dreams and goals for the new year,

because i still have dreams, lots of them, some same some changed, but never the less, 1 of them is to never give up, never back down, and never QUIT!.

happy holidays, Earth.

Final Countdown

2009-10-01T22:11:00.001+08:00

Counting down to the last semester in college.
the final push to university
the final rush to get things done right
the final run for glory
the final road to victory
the final time to get it right

its the final countdown

heavy, rock and roll, metal music

2009-09-19T04:49:00.002+08:00

now i think i know why heavy metal, rock and roll musics are soothing to the ears of those in stress i think, so i guess back in the day, when we were still young, those that listened to rock and roll are those in lots of stress and those that listen to love songs like me are just living in a fantasy land waiting to be taken out. and now i guess im in the rock and roll but i still like to fantasize about stuff. its always good to have a dream, goal, hope

enjoying myself

2009-08-01T13:41:00.000+08:00

im not going malaysia, not going singapore....yes...yes

another disappointing year.....but eh...im enjoying myself.....

Past/Present

2009-07-10T15:55:00.001+08:00

just as i expected, we did knew each other in the past, and everything seems right
i met her in my past life, and this time its my chance to do what i should have done
if you wanna know what i found out. hit me up.

最深的黑暗，往往来自最光明的地方。

2009-06-22T15:58:00.001+08:00

its the final week, its time to turn it up. game on!

Light & Darkness

2009-06-21T18:06:00.001+08:00

In the brightest light,
lies the deepest darkness.

when you walk out to light
thats when you will see your shadow.

Dec 21st 2012-Apocalypse

2009-06-19T06:43:00.002+08:00

i know that we all changed,
you changed,
iv changed,

i know that i cant go back to the past and change things,
i know that iv said somethings that might have or might not have hurt your feelings
i know that you might not ever like me,

but

i want to let you know that you were once a big part of my life and you still are
i want you to know that you will always be in my heart
i want you to know that everyday i think of your for at least 100 heartbeats

and

i just want to be a part of your life too, should you allow me
i just want to be there for you when you need me, even though im far away,
i just want to play a part in your life that you might actually remember forever

so

im going to start to forget you bit by bit as much as i can, in physchology they call this repressing memory
im going to start to move on bit by bit as i repress you into my memory capsule deep in my heart
im going to start to stop thinking about every heartbeat by heartbeat

even though

i know that this is hard
i know that this is impossible because the feelings donts just disappear
i know that im lying to myself and lying to everyone to say that im even trying to give up

but it seems like theres just not going to be a "we" at the end of this story.

do you want to be a puppet forever?

2009-06-15T13:27:00.002+08:00

once you realize that you have been a puppet your whole life,
you will realized that you are alone in this world,
you will be scared, afraid, lonely, disfuncional,
but when you destroy and eliminate what is standing in your way

you will realize that you have so much power inside you
when you talk out of the dark and into the light
you will see your shadow that has long been forgotten
you will see that you yourself can be that light that you long seek

for what comes around goes around
it is not what you are underneath
but what you do that defines you
YOU are the evil inside yourself
YOU are the good inside yourself

YOU are YOU

LA Lakers 2009 Champions

2009-06-15T12:47:00.002+08:00

It is always possible, yes 3 titles with shaq, so what?

when you are immortal,

when you are good

when you are impossible to stop

when you are number 24

when you are kobe bryant

when you eliminate what stands in your way

anything is possible. Lalakers 2009 champions!!!!

2nd quarter

2009-06-10T22:26:00.001+08:00

well, im in the second quarter now, 2 more quarters to go and ill be in taiwan. its coming down to this final game, this final closeout, this final countdown, make a run for it because thats all i got left.

pissed through the roof,

2009-06-01T12:07:00.001+08:00

so pissed so pissed.......haiz....but neways june is here,

MY MONTH

I feel like im coming close to a conclusion.....

2009-05-27T15:35:00.001+08:00

I think i can finally let it go........

Theres more than meets the eye

2009-05-16T06:59:00.002+08:00

At least tell me your name.

2009-05-13T15:14:00.002+08:00

It is not who i am underneath
but what i do that defines me.

This summer's theme is recharge, reconstruct and re-enter

2009-05-07T17:33:00.003+08:00

recharge-meaning charging up my battery which i describe as my emotional status for an up coming year in the states

reconstruct-meaning re adjust my sleeping time, my eating habits, bad habits, hunger...

re-enter-meaning re entering into the states once focused again as long as i do the above 2, and another ear we go.........

"i know, im nothing, what, you dont think i know that im nothin?
ya, im nothing, i came from nothin, but i aint going back to that,
the only way i'd lose is if someone beats me!"-channing tatum

Love Is Simple

2009-05-05T15:44:00.002+08:00

Love is simple

love is blind

love is meaningful

love is kind

love is a kiss

love is a touch

love is a feeling

that i have for you very much

love is sensible

love is raw

love is patience

love is loud

love is simple

love is true

love is the only way

that i get to know the real "you"

-kingston.

Hunger

2009-05-04T15:35:00.002+08:00

The words hunger i realized.

hunger for money

hunger for stuff

hunger to become better

hunger to beat other people

hunger to success

hunger for everything....

i think its because of the hunger that i was born with made me who i am today.

but if i can control this hunger, this evil, this beast inside of me...

ill learn to appreaciate and be happy with what i have now.........

and thats all it matters

3 years.....

2009-05-04T07:12:00.003+08:00

wow i just realized i created this blog from my old one the day i left singapore in the airport. that was 2006

and its 2009 now....

i thought it was 2 years but its been 3.....

so i guess alot changed 3 years.....

so i thought to myself...maybe the power is actually good and nto evil?

Infinite power comes from within....

2009-05-03T12:39:00.002+08:00

so...from my last post...i have found the answer.....somehow.....with my battery coming to a stop. i have turned on the darkness of infinite power.....and now i feel powerful...i feel good...i feel evil....

i smell...B..L..O..O..D...

无赖正义

2009-05-01T12:14:00.005+08:00

for some reason......the darkness is rising as summer comes and time to go back for vacation....

usually this time of the year is when my battery is like...almost gone after last years recharge...

but....for some reason.....as im approaching heaven time....emotions and feelings come flying...and somehow....the darkness is starting to turn me into....

.......................it seems that the emotions are boiling at thier highest point now...and someone its hard to resist the power of darkness coming upon...........please help me.....

im not bad....

im just confused...and lost.......

unlike me

2009-04-24T17:19:00.001+08:00

its unlike to not post in couple months....damn it

Boring valentines....Again

2009-02-19T17:50:00.002+08:00

bored...bored...bored....

im kinda losing myself again....sort of....

kinda...losing fous

i need to get back on my feet.

well schools fine...i stay away from all the drama and whatnot by not talking to anyone....

i try to work as much as i can.....to earn money...

planning to go back in july.....

but no one is going to be free....around....

someone tell me if i should go back to singapore...???

Febuary...

2009-02-09T17:14:00.002+08:00

And so febuary comes around......

6 more days till valentines day,

obviously, i have no valantine for the 19th year straight, what a record!~~~~

oh well, i shall be spending it at work...working...working...earning money...and working....

school is good, i will pass this semester and i am doing good, finally stepped up in pressure situation when i needed to.

everyone out there, you know who im talking about, The world is changing, but our friendship will never, and my love you all will always stay the same.

The wackness

2009-01-17T20:13:00.004+08:00

Go watch it

so i watched the wackness and good enough it is as wack as the title is.

well so basically, after i watched the movie and school started this week....iv been thinking...have i been thinking about too much stuff that a 19 year old shouldnt be thinking about? i mean i think about being rich, making lots of money, car, tux, suits and ties, the perfect job, starting a family, wife, kids,(well not exactly) but you know what i mean and destiny?

after watching that movie, kinda give me an idea, i should FUCKING STOP THINKING ABOUT SO MUCH SHIT AND ACT LIKE A FUCKING 19 YEAR OLD!

Enjoy life

go to parties,

enjoy music

enjoy school

enjoy work

make friends,

hang out

BE A 19 YEAR OLD TEENAGER NOT ADULT.

and thats what im going to do

Still looking for the light within.......

2009-01-06T15:50:00.002+08:00

after spending a shitload of money,
not being happy,
and just everything that didnt go my way.

im starting to realized like one good friend once told me, be happy with your life, and everything will be fine.

so im starting to look for the light within myself......

"im still here.......are you here now?"

2009-01-02T16:47:00.002+08:00

january first 2009 around 1pm united states california time

(guy)hello....
(girl)hello....
(guy)happy new year
(girl) you too....
(guy) what you doing?
(girl) watching tv...
(guy)what you doing tonight?
(girl) packing some gifts
(guy)oh...so you going to university?
(girl) ya...
(guy) when?
(girl) july...
(guy) oh.....so you on vacation now till then?
(girl) kinda of...but i gotta work
(guy) oh where?
(girl) i coach..

(guy) oh! where? net ball?
(girl) ya i coach my secondary school.
(guy) you mean cedar right?
(girl) ya...
(guy) oh cool....so you going anywhere vacation? like overseas?
(girl) new years...
(guy) where?
(girl) taiwan...
(guy) oh ....oh......oh....why taiwan?
(girl) i dont pick it.....
(guy) oh okay...........................................................................
(girl)huh?
(guy) nothing......
(girl)oh.......
(girl) take care.....
(guy) you too...take care....bye...
(girl) bye....
(guy) ( is still on line just wanting to wait for the girl to hang up first but at the same time.....)
(girl) ( is still on the line and guy dont know what the girl is waiting for not hanging up)
after 8 seconds...........

(guy) thought that girl hung up so was going to hang up than saw the line is still no the girl still hasent hung up....
(guy) wanted to keep waiting.....but thought....just hang up...if she is ready she will say.....

what you think?

.....Its Time to Turn It UP, GAME ON!!! WELCOME 2009!!!!!!

2009-01-01T03:11:00.001+08:00

UPON THIS NEW YEAR A NEW DAWN THAT COMES, I HOPE THIS 2009 YEAR BRING HAPPINESS AND JOY AND STREEFREE TO EVERYONE I KNOW AND BRING SAFETY AND PEACE TO THE WORLD(like thats going to happen) AND THAT EVERYONE FIND YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE N IF YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE MAY YOU 2 BE HAPPILLY EVER AFTER, IF YOU ARE LONELY LIKE ME RIGHT NOW AND 2009 ISISNT STARTING OFF THAT GOOD THAT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE.....

CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY 2009, see ya later 2008

.....So come on, make me Strong.....

2008-12-16T15:05:00.002+08:00

got a new car today....love it.....christmas is next week and meaning that our year is coming to an end. new years coming, a new dawn is apon us.

a new year rising,

a new beginning forshadows,

a new journey starts,

a new chapter opens,

a new race begins,

a new day is born,

as we walk into this new year we glanced at this year of what we did, what we achieved, what we become, who we changed into, what me missed, what we failed to do, what we want to become, and what our dreams really are.

to whoever is out there that knows what im talking, forget aout this year, forget about 2008, let 2008 go away even if its been a good year, because we all know

we can be better next year and forever.

for we can all be heroes

...And thats What i really need.....

2008-12-12T12:58:00.004+08:00

i went back to vacation finally after 2 years, met new friends.
had new funs.
realized new sides on life
changed for the better
thinking critically more
increased faith and hope
little decrease in confidence
lost money in betting
won money from i dontknow where
had many new options
made more enemeys
have new looks in life
find new hopes.

and next year, 2009. Its My time. i have faith confidence and momentum that next year is going to my Year since 2003. Bring it on, 2009

...You can do it just know that ill be thee.....

2008-11-14T17:49:00.001+08:00

High school musical 3!!! god i love that song when they play, Now or never, song name, go check it out!

Right now i can hardly breath

2008-11-07T06:44:00.003+08:00

Dont know what to do, changed to a better person but changed alot of things that i shouldnt change in my life, i dont regret this change, i just gotta change faster and more to keep up with the pace.

Good within Evil, Evil within Good

2008-11-03T16:47:00.003+08:00

The green ranger was never really good
but never really evil
he was good but had evil within him
he was evil but had good within him

he was good but had a powerful darkside of evil consealed within him
he was evil but had a powerful lightside of good and heart deep inside of him

he was born good
he was made into evil

he was turned back into good
he was brought into evil

if there was 1 thing i learned or should i say figured out after being a fan of the green ranger all these years................................................

Im just like him.....

Consistant.Consistant.Consistant.Consistant.Consistant.Consistant.Consistant.Consistant.Consistant.............

2008-10-31T03:09:00.002+08:00

lakers beat portland 96/76 changing is not the onlything in our lives that make us better or worse. i found out the answer the hard way, its 1 word

consistant.

easy simple the word explains itself.
if we keep consistant in our work ethic we will do good
if we keep consistant in our attitude and manners we will do good
if we keep consistant in our good habits we will do good
if we keep consistant in our goals and dreams we will do good
if we keep consistant
if we keep consistant
if we keep consistant
if we keep consistant
if we keep consistant......................................................................

its hard to keep consistant though, im trying. i can say that everyone that i know right now are having dramas, hard times, stress, bad days, and all that shit

but its all about consistant.

forgetting her 1 day does not make me forget everything,
remembering her 1 day(another her) does not make me remembe everything
loving her 1 day(same her as 1 and 2) does not make me love her with my all

i hope that 1 day i can look in the sky and say to her(1 and 2 ) that iv tried my best.

Theres actually some good in me

2008-10-28T23:26:00.003+08:00

i found new family, i found new brothers and sisters, new friends, new relationships but

JULY till......

OCTOBER.....

3 months iv not posted a single post, its not like me.

when school started i promised to hit the reset button one more time, go to school
be good, work and just get through this 2-3 more years of school...
yet again. i fail, mid into the semester i find myself dropped out of classes and
now dropping 1 more. not worse than before but far worse that i expected.
i changed after coming back from taiwant this holiday. im more polite, i think about others.
i do nice things like washing dishes. i dont spend much more, i watch out for oily food and food thats not good for health. iv made a lot of changes but are those changes enough to be exchanged for the classes that iv dropped? the coursese that iv wasted? the times iv sacrifice?
i dunno, i just dont know

i dunno who will be reading this post since iv not posted for 3 months

but what i do know is
im still trying to give up on her.

july 2nd

2008-07-02T12:24:00.002+08:00

i celebrated my birthday, no...
i didnt...
well....

went out.....got money....went shopping myself....
but eh.....either im growing up and maturing in thinking...

or i, just thinking too much.....i dont have happiness anymore....

its gone...and i want it back....

Maybe.....

2008-06-25T15:55:00.002+08:00

i dont deserve you....
i dont deserve this life.....
i dont deserve lots of things that have been given to me for free....
i dont deserve you at all.....

if i can deserve other things in my life first...
maybe than i can deserve you...
but until than.....

i guess.....

either it was never meant to be....
or i just never deserved you....

taiwan

2008-06-25T15:34:00.002+08:00

thursday
and ill be in taiwan
leave a comment
and ill call you if needed.....

i might not be back to singapore this year....

june, month of happiness, my month

2008-06-09T06:39:00.001+08:00

its june again.....finally, after waiting for a year........for so long iv been thinking of my life and shit going around....i quit 2 jobs.....i failed 2 classes in school and i pretty much wasted my last semester doing nothing.......

i plan to this august when i come back, to restart my life, hit the restart button, get a new place to stay, a new life, a new job, start focusing on school again. lord be with me

I still cant

2008-05-03T16:32:00.002+08:00

so long.....
iv dreamed of being with her
iv dreamed of holding her

so long....
iv dreamed of taking care of her
iv dreamed of watching over her

so long.....
8 years is how long.....

so long....
she has rejected me....
she has denied my existence
she has declined my love

so long....
have i waited
have she waited
have i wanted
has she wanted
have i tried
have she tried
have i hold on
have she hold on

so long have i tried to pull her to me
so long has she tried to push me away.....

but i cant......

i simply just cant.....because...iv fallen in love with you.

Never Back Down

2008-04-08T16:39:00.002+08:00

movie was awesome...loved it.......and erm...
after my crash and my car is still fixing....did lots of thinking..... and what mom did say something that i heard was actually making sense, im a kid, im young, im suppose to earn what i can spend not spend what i can earn, the more money than average people? when it all come down to health, and life, i dont have either....

i walked in today to fry's electronics and quit my big money job each weeks paycheck from frys is equal to 2 weeks in mcdonalds........but i still quit it....cause as a manager in mcdonalds i learn more....and thats what i need now.....and if i quit mcdonalds ill be earning big money which means ill spend more too......

after this years january 26th, iv never really thought about her .......i tried to suck myself into work and school and money and stress. but 2 days ago, it all came back to me after i hit the car, what am i working so hard for? whats my final goal?

i found out, it is a chance, to prove and show myself and everyone and her, to actually act
not just say.

im going back june 26th to taiwan. but ill be back in singapore,

like coach said in the movie"you can always change positions in any fight or game", "it is your resposibility to control the outcome.","never BACK down!"

im getting another car, im going to search for the life that iv long dreamed of and long wanted.

no car

2008-04-05T18:58:00.002+08:00

hit my car to the sidewalk and messed up my front left wheel the axle went all the way back.
reason?
2 hours sleep in 50 hours cause of 3 jobs and school....

bottom line...no car...getting it fixed...want a new car....mom is pissed and angry.....

just want to let everyone know....i love you guys.

I can only imagine

2008-03-26T15:42:00.003+08:00

as i walk my way up through the stairways of heaven.......

lord would you watch over me those around me that care for me and love me.

lord would you surround me with your glory.

lord would you guide me and be my eye as i walk through the stairs.

lord would you lend me your divine power and strenght to conquer the upcoming.

lord would you make me who i am.

lord would you make me who im destined to be

lord would you show me the way

for i will come out the sky, heaven, a new man, a chosen man with a destiny, with a purpose,

as the chosen one.

in the name of jesus christ-amen

slowly.......bit by bit......

2008-03-24T05:56:00.003+08:00

im consumed by the darkness within me................

im turning mean,

im turning green,

im turning evil,

im turning dark,

im turning emo,

im turning rude,

im turning my back againts almost everyone.............

Once Again, as i walk through the valley........

2008-03-12T17:54:00.002+08:00

lord, guide me and lend me just a little bit of your divine power and strenght and your intelligence along with your knowledge and your life.

for i am your son,

your messenger,

your craft.

Darkness

2008-03-09T05:03:00.003+08:00

so im promoted to sales in frys, guess ill stay there for a while until someone gets mad at me or some shit happens. but mcdonalds at manager position isint that cool at all and now, this guys is leaving, which means theres only me and another manager available for closing.....i thought i was just a backup but guess now its my time.......i dropped a total of 2 classes because i dont think i can handle it....so now the school year looks fine.....well there comes the problem....full time at frys, now i gotta be almost full time at mcdonalds too.....wow......so guess this calls for the most important time ever first time this year, that ill have to shine again, well maybe not alone, but with the power of the darkness. or the power of light which everone can take over me and lend me the power i need, im not person that takes advantage of other people, so when someone wants my help, i offer my best. lord please guide me once again. through this valley of the shadow of death. as imma work myself to death.

98.05

2008-03-05T15:49:00.004+08:00

Hope that no one returns anything for me but i think im doing pretty darn good.....

monday-$50.50

tuesday-$98.05

starting to get a hang of it.

but again. THE CHAMP IS BACK.

The Sales Champ Is Here!

2008-03-04T17:27:00.002+08:00

i got into sales today, first day but was late, wow, no excuse shit happens, but i dont want to talk about it, neways, school is so so, dropping another class cause i cant manage it but doing summer schoool here instead. and going back in june.......work is fine.......mentally wise.......still so.so.......but thats about it for now.

But those people in sales, watch out. imma try my best, but just let you guys know.

THE CHAMP IS HERE.

Fucking Its time now!!!!!!!

2008-02-26T20:26:00.003+08:00

fucking wat the hell is going on with me,slept past school again for like the 8th time this year. omg. fucking so behind. fucking time to to rise up again, but wth has gone into me. cant even wake up.

for one more time, lord, lend me your divine power to guide me and lead me through this dark and evil hour in my life, with your presence fufill my duties and make me who i should be and you shall be glorified with my success. so here i pray lord, in your ultimatum, guide me as i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, and i shall walk out with light,power and a new man.a new DESTINY.

In the name of jesus christ-AMEN

Down Time.

2008-02-21T02:57:00.008+08:00

John Cena was injured by randy orton 4 months or so before his title defence match and doctors said that he will be out minimum of 6 months to 1 year. but he appeared and he did the impossible, because he believed and he trusted, he came back in 4 months.

somehow,someway, in everyone's life, there is a period of time where that person just crashes and its not like after a break up or anything, its not about work or anything, but its just, that your battery ran out, you just want to take a break to relax and recharge. and depending on what you did in your past, will result if you can actually come out of this hibernation the way you were, worst, or better thanever. okay, cut to the chase.

so since the week before, after 1 day of sleeping past school time and didnt go to school, i missed like a whole weekof school, more like 3 days only actually but i didnt go to school the whole week and saturday was president weekend so no school than this monday no school, but iv missed like 2 sessions, but thats not the point, through this restless period of time iv slept late and wake up late, like sleep at 5a.m and wake up at 8p.m the next day.

and i had this thought in 18 years that iv never had. i thought to myself, iv missed classes quite much, its a doubt if i can pass the classes this semester, a high doubt. i would ust like to pass it, i dont dream of a B or A but just a C will do. but iv had this thought, if i flunked this semester or if i should just drop all my classes and work full time 2jobs and earn hella money and work hard next semester, and than finish these classes i failed to accomplished this semester in summer school or in UNLV, vegas. that is a bad thought but i dont know. after 18 years, i thought to myself, i think thisperiod of time if i were to take a rest from school and just work, im making no mistake, im making nothing bad, i still can finish university in 4 years with a degree. why not?

and i have this theory or sort of my saying, i heard from somewhere.

Its never too late to regret
Its never too late to change
Its never too late to realise
Even when you are on the death bed.

thats my saying that i live off by, everytime i make a mistake or regret about something i did, i tell myself, its never too late to realise and regret and change. thats when i realise and make a change.

but anyways, i think im not thinking about dropping out this semester anymore sort of. ill do my best, cause theres another motto i live off by, thats john cena's

Never back down
Never quit.

-thats it.

In The Land Of Women

2008-02-02T18:37:00.000+08:00

just watched the movie on dvd. touching. i think im into this movie releasing stress and calming myself thing. like it kinda makes me figure out what i need to figure out.....like its my way of solving my problems........is every relationship just a transition till the perfect one comes?

i guess.

so what do i really need now?

i dont know. im trying to solve my life.

STEP UP 2

2008-02-01T18:34:00.000+08:00

its time to step up just like iv always have,

been slacking off and thinking of stuff thats way out of my piority list now.

time to get back in the game. time to STEP UP.

watch it in theaters febuary 14th, VALENTINES day

It Hurts Alot

2008-01-28T16:36:00.000+08:00

but its time to let it go,
there is someone better out there,
someone who is more perfect than she already is,
or simply just also perfect.

No More.

2008-01-26T18:29:00.000+08:00

i gave my heart and gave my mind,

with this drawing comes an end to this long, long, one love.

Happy 18th birthday. miss ya always.

If you love someone,let them go...

2008-01-21T18:32:00.000+08:00

let it go

The Reason

2008-01-19T17:52:00.000+08:00

its time to decide,i got the money, time is no problem, school is not a problem ever.

time to decide, if its worth it, or is it not.

you met her this life,
you like her so much that you love her,
you are willing to sacrifice so much for her,
you willing to sacrifice one last time?
just to get an answer that most likely you already knew but you disbelieve it?
live for nothing, or die for something.

your call.

New Year, New Hair

2008-01-10T19:20:00.001+08:00

New Year.

New Hair.

New Hopes.

New Life.

As i walk through the valley of the shadow of death........

2008-01-10T18:41:00.000+08:00

As i walk throught the valley of the shadow of death, i know heavenly father in the name of lord jesus christ, will be watching over me to guide me.

ty, lord.

oh hey, new hair by the way, and aurelia, this is call SHORT

Surrounded by your glory.....

2008-01-05T19:47:00.000+08:00

i think new years resolution numbe 3 and 19 are well done and 99.9 percent accomplished.

3) stop spending too much money
19) stop gambling.....

i think im well on my way to my new years and school is starting next week, that means my scholarship money is on the way, and that means paying off credit card, and that means open cash to DO THE THING, (hint-relates to number 1 in new years resolution)

so erm........i still havent decided if to go with the plan, i guess things just always turn out the way you didnt plan.

4 months ago in hawaii on my laptop, i had everything planned out. nice and spotless. prefect. but nothing in there came to life. nothing, is it cause im lazy? dont think so, is it cause i cant follow the plan? dont think so, i think its cause the feelings just start to slowly drift away but everytime i see something related to it, my heart just bleeds and gets torn apart literally, it hurts....i dunno why.......it reallyhurts......i wish someone would make that pain stop and give me some happiness to heal my heart.........i dunno why but iv been praying to jesus recently, and i guess he answered most of my prayers.....

maybe like yz's mom said, i should go to churh maybe, you cant always rely on yourself to take care of everything, maybe everyone needs someone to share thier pain and happiness with when they have no one too...andmaybe the only person who is always there is him, the heavenly lord himself. like mercyme's song i can only imagine.....

i need a hug, just a sincere and truthful and warm hug, and i SWEAR that ill feel much BETTER

LIKE REALLY.......

2008-01-04T22:01:00.001+08:00

IM LIKE REALLY SERIOUS....

maybe not 378, but if really to count...hold on...let me count....

558 days counting from june 26 of 2006.......

and that day was the first anniversary of....

HAHA

2008-01-04T21:23:00.000+08:00

HAHA.....THATS ALL......

had like the best DAY OF MY LIFE IN THE LAST 378 days...............

LIKE OMG......

New Years Resolution.

2008-01-02T18:47:00.000+08:00

alright,

1) GIVE UP ON SHIWEN. ITS TIME.
2) earn lots of money
3) stop spending too much money
4) be more organized
5) be more hardworking(as in schoolwork)
6) become a excellent basketball player
7) become a excellent runner
8) become a excellent singer(still practicing)
9) grow taller
10) sleep more
11) break as many records as i can
12) enjoy as much as i can when i can(does that make any sense?)
13) stop eating too much candy
14) find more friends and be lucky to find one i can count on (here in the states)
15) find someone i love( ill just wait for it to come)
16) donate as much money as i can.
17) stop yelling to me mom all the time
18) keep lying to my dad to have him send money here
19) stop gambling
20) get laid!!!!!!( lol jk)

i think thats it. but ya.....havent made any happen yet....lol....

my address by the way

2007-12-24T17:15:00.000+08:00

seems like a bad time and late to do it but its my address and iv told like no one yet....sorry....

chin h tan
p.o box 3445
rocklin ca 95677

thanks and chin h tan is my full name by the way

Christmas- A Season Of Giving....

2007-12-23T16:32:00.000+08:00

i was at the local supermarket shopping and they had this if you donate $10 dollars they will make a $20 worth of basket of foods and give it to people around the community for christmas, and since its been long since i last made any donations....i donated $20 dollars and i dedicated them to 2 special people in my life.Merry christmas!!

Spring coming

2007-12-04T13:38:00.000+08:00

Spring coming, its been so long since i updated....been REALLY busy.......planning and shit......work work work.....hw hw hw.....money money money......wow.....i got a new laptop, a sony vaio!!!!! yes!!! finally.......new computer after like 4 years....but ya.........january coming......first christmas is coming first.......eh.......but eh.....again......i didnt know kelly clarkson sang beatiful disaster....and by the way....i love this song.....finally a song that fits........

"Addicted"-kelly clarkson

listen to it for a sec....just dont change the page...

Do i have a choice?

2007-11-15T14:07:00.000+08:00

i decided to tell my mom, well not really but to ask her for the number to get air ticket. since she knows people.

turns out.....

i told her about it and she was off the hook, fired up, all angry cause im spending the money for nothing. she is pretty much threathening me.....pretty much...like she always does....and out of all those times....i always walked away and regret what i should have done.....

Do i have a choice?
time is on my side
money is on my side
god is on my side
faith is on my side
but mom, can you stand by me for one more important time in my life?

i grew up is a fucking screwed up family, parents divorced, grew up with an evil guardian, cry at night since i was 8 cause mom wasent around me, brought around the world to taste and feel the culture and adversity around the world to be better than anyone else. iv always rosed to the occasion....failed couple times....but overall iv been through struggles that brought me here, now im making a decision that iv never made before. a very important decidsion and very hard decision. can i just do this and move on? i might be better off telling my mom the whole story.
i consider myself one hella unique person that has come so far off with knowledge, people skills, personality(maybe not), intelligence, speed and as far as i know, i can do it, iv come so far to let my inner childhood destroy me.......but that dark cloud is bigger and bigger now......growing at a huge rate......work and everything has tied in with it....now mom?

jesus christ.

I'm holding on your ropes, got me 10 feet off the ground.....

2007-11-12T15:58:00.000+08:00

january 2008
your only
your first
your last

my first
my only
my last

i ask
you answer
in the end

ill accept.

kiss kiss

2007-11-06T18:25:00.000+08:00

omg....iv been getting so lazy and lazy that im not doing my work...not studying....only playing games and working.....im late on hw....everything....what is going on??? major slacking......i even had this thought of my dropping out and working for money and work from there for my future......i am like totally losing my mind........i wanna be inside your heaven.

new song chris brown-kiss kiss awesone song.

The laziness has been immuning itself.......

2007-11-06T02:16:00.000+08:00

so its been all good, i cant say how much success im having at frys, i hope to get promoted in3 months cause i single handedly dominated my department and decimated the whole store......im being watched...as a rookie iv rose up to my challenge that i set myself and challenges and expectations that iv been given upon. but anyways.....mom changed her return date to december 10th now......i have to pay decembers rent.....lol....wow...car payment and all that bling bling spending.......i hope everyone had a good halloween....and im looking forward for thanks giving not cause im christian, but after thanks giving is black friday, which is the united states biggest sale of the whol entire year and im expectating that day to give me the boost i need to get promoted. well see....nba season started last week...so happy.....erm...iv been getting lazy everyday now and its harder for me to wake up in the morning now.....couple times i put out my alarm clock not knowing or remembering that it even rang......im just getting lazier and lazier....but for all you ladies out there.....im not getting fatter.....or putting on weight....simple just lazier......but eh....im looking for next january.....not happening, but i might be able to make a little somethin out for christmas.....not sure.....but i hope too.......cause its worth it......but anyways....god has been watching out for me...keeping me safe....good....nice boy....but can you just help that someone who i want you to help more than me? help her too.....cause she is more important than me....

Apologize.

2007-10-25T14:48:00.000+08:00

happen alot lately, alot, new job, school test and everything, trying to manage 2 jobs and full time school and paying phone bills and rent and car payments...alot...bought 2 red eared sliders, 2 turtles is what i mean, regular small turtles, havent had a nice name for them, but ill think of one, erm, this one chick in school is like into me, but i guess i did the right thing and totally ignored her instead of giving her a chance to even dream about it ad stuff, i even drop badminton class since she is in it but mainly cause i need extra time to sleep in the morning. but ya, i rejected the second girl in my life. i went to a chinese supermarket and bought like $100 bucks of shit cause i missed it so much, like "yeos" lychee drink, soymilk, japanese instant noodles, milo and all that crap, all junk food but i really miss home, typical college student i guess you could call me now, eating instant noodles everyday like you see in movies and dramas, rushing to work and all that shit...but eh...i bought myself to it. my dark self has gone away for a while, im like neutral now....talked to yong zhi yesterday on the phone, it feels so good to hear her voice, dont know why, maybe cause no one else answered thier phone but ya...felt nice talking to her. i need to pay off all my credit cards cause i pretty much maxed them out and all that, but im doing good i guess oeverall, and just hanging in there, waiting for next year and hoping next year will be a much better year, i miss everyone, especially you. any names for my 2 turtles i would gladly take into consideration, but if not, i think i got 2 names i want to name them, since they look like they are a male and a female....

love this song.
Apologize-one republic ft timbaland

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance,
take a fallTake a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin newI loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was youBut I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Bridge (guitar/piano)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

My love

2007-10-16T01:13:00.000+08:00

Reign over me

2007-10-15T14:15:00.000+08:00

the devil striked back again today, almost took control of me, i thought i got rid of him a couple days ago, but today the anger of my financial status and work and school just built up and i almost cant stand it anymore. but that angel rose and told the devil otherwise.

i had this wierd thought these couple days,
is 10 years better?
is it a sign already that it was meant to be?
is it that im rushing a bit even though its been 7?
maybe i cant even support myself and no time now?
im getting this from a whole different angle.

anyways, reign over me by adam sandler was amazing, touching and heart breaking, at the same time, funny and stunning. great true story and a great movie, one of my favourites now. go watch it. and coming october 16th in USA, The Transformers roll out on dvd!!!! im going to watch it a second time.

oh and job is killing me, halloween is coming up though, we have a dress up costume contest at frys electronics, any associate that wins the most number of votes for best dress win amazing prizes such as a ipod nano or something. but i have no idea what i want to wear. any suggestions?

With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility.

2007-10-08T12:43:00.000+08:00

With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility.- ben parker

too much going on,

too much stress,

too much frustration,

its gathering deep inside me.

im feeling power, a dark and evil power deep inside me waiting to unleash itself,iv been annoyingly angry, and annoyingly pissed these few days, i have that evil face on my look, the devils tasting blood. is it just me or is everyone around acting so FUCKING annoying. i dont know, but im feeling stressed out, never been so, and im having anger issues, i cant control it much longer, god please show me the way.

Fry's electronics

2007-10-06T15:18:00.000+08:00

so i got a new job and im working at fry's electronics being a computer accessories sales person, but im transfering to courtesy associate or front check out cause im not really comfortable being there, cant be 100% efficient. but anyways, i bet everyones exams are all over, but mine has just started, im starting to save. but i need to save mroe cause the time is coming soon and i still haven got the basic tickets ready yet, so need to get them. other than that, i should be getting another job at blockbusters, and if i do, ill be working 3 jobs, so you need to know that working so much plus school work is all for you. cause you are worth it. take care

thank you

2007-10-05T13:23:00.000+08:00

to calanthea, love ya, and i miss ya, take care.

What a day

2007-10-02T14:26:00.000+08:00

Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)[?] october 1st
The Bottom Line
You're the best person to solve your problems. Have an internal talk with yourself.
In Detail

Turning to friends and family members for advice is always a good idea, but ultimately you'll find the answers inside yourself. Right now, you are the best person to resolve your problems. What you need to do is to have an honest internal talk, a real down-and-dirty conversation with your inner self. Find out what you really, truly want. Then everything else will become obvious. The answers all lie within, so have some faith in your own way of thinking.

Im....too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car...

2007-10-02T14:23:00.000+08:00

self explainatory.

it never ends...

2007-10-01T07:05:00.000+08:00

yeap, aint her i guess. tried, dont work. went out for movies, bought flowers cause its her birthday, a whole bouquet of pink roses. paid for bowling, movie and lunch. money doesnt matter. i work for it, but its not there, no chemistry, just feels wrong. when will it ever end? this endless streak of isint her? please, make it end. now i just dont want to go there anymore, no more. back and forth. no more girls and no more anything, time to work hard study hard and get ready for next year. focus on the long term goal,stop spending too much money. its time i show the world and you. i want to say i miss you, but saving that till we meet will mean more than anything.

just casual, nothing much

2007-09-20T15:08:00.000+08:00

its wierd, but here it is, this asian was there when i first went in to the badminton class, it was just me and her, than the second time too, sounds wierd but so she is in my badminton class and we played today on the opposite team on doubles, than at night, i was delivering for my work, and when i went to the college dorms where the college that i go to, she came out to pick up the order! i was like WOW, she was like you work there? im like yeah, and she is like oh.....and im like well now you got my number, she was like ya i got your number and i can get discount!!! and im like sure...than i walked away and im thinking, hhmm......since i want to watch resident evil 3 and good luck chuck this friday, why not ask her if she wants to go along, but i got work at 5 so have to finish before 5 of course.....lol, but ill call her up tommrrow, yup, just casual, nothing much.....lol

what am i missing?

2007-09-17T15:23:00.000+08:00

hhmmn........i got 0 incoming calls today.......i got 1 incoming call from work yesterday to buy coffee.....i got 0 incoming call the day before yesterday......whats wrong??? no one is calling me? oh i know why, cause im so stubborn and such an asshole that i have no friends. is it cause of money? no, is it cause of work? no, is it cause of my attitude, my problem? yes!!!! for christ sake, being around the whole world and getting to know so many people is really that not big of a deal, so what if you have friends from singapore, malaysia,thailand,bangkok, united states, hawaii, taiwan, so wat? NOBODY FUCKING CALLS YOU!!!!! omg! problem with them? maybe, problem with you? definitely!!!! why the fuck do i fucking have no friends???? god damn it, jesus guys i know, blah...blah...of course you got friends....just that they are busy....well we've gone through all that, i dunno why, but today is another reliazation day. what am i missing? why do i have the best phone around but i got the worst incoming call record? i seriously dont know, loneliness is clouding me again.....i can call, can i? but well, no one answers and no one wants to talk or no one is free. what have i done to myself, my life to come to 18 years old but have no road trips, no movie pals, no one, i went to the past 4 movies myself! for christ sake, thats a fucking new record! god damn it kingston, you suck more than anyone you know! not only no calls but i sit in my car with my air condition on and dont know where to go, wow! thats a first! well you know why kingston? cause you fucking have no friends that want to hang out with you!!!! now you only go to work, go home, sleep, school and homework, your life right now has no friend in it, not even 1!!!!! cant you just have a friend and keep them close? what have you done????/ i seriously dont know kingston, what the hell is wrong with you. well i think you know. everyone else knows, thats why they aint calling you. but well who cares.

im not weak

2007-09-17T15:11:00.000+08:00

im not weak
im not strong
but please dont push my button.

UNLV

2007-09-13T14:19:00.000+08:00

okay i got the sign that i should go to UNLV, but i dont know about it....i want to go there, but same thing might happen like hawaii......i dont know....but give me another sign about you know what, right now thats the most important thing....thanks

Busy

2007-09-12T15:09:00.000+08:00

hey, i was busy so i wasent really paying attention and i was like feeling miserable these couple days, so god would you show me the sign again? maybe i missed it. thank you

one more time?

2007-09-08T18:40:00.000+08:00

god, 1 more sign please? this time make it so very obvious. thank you

I missed school

2007-09-06T09:22:00.000+08:00

i want to go back to school, what i mean by is secondary school and college in singapore.

i missed it and i could never go back
i missed the fun
i missed the enjoyment of having so much friends
i missed sports day
i missed class activities
i missed a whole unified class
i missed teachers coming to class
i missed a form teacher
i missed lots
i missed happiness

im not complaining, just feeling miserable missing it.

No more

2007-09-05T15:24:00.000+08:00

No more slacking off. by next year i want to be in the best shape of my life. its time i make some changes for the better.

no more waiting for jobs.(gonna start looking for jobs)
no more playing games.(waste money)
no more sleeping past 1a.m(bad for skin)
no more eating junk food.(bad for everything)
no more soda.(bad for health)
no more eating too much oil.(bad for skin)
no more everything thats bad.

its time i get things straight.

i miss you alot, and been dreaming about you. you're always here.

My Favourite song of all time

2007-09-04T15:26:00.000+08:00

by the time you read this the music has already been played,

and well,

those that know this song.....you are now all ready to turn it off cause its well,

i dont have to say it,

feel it.....lol

but i love this song, i still listen to it everyday.

how to get $6600 in 4 months?

2007-09-04T15:05:00.000+08:00

Hmm....difficult question to answer...

but i think it can be done.

and it will be.

If I Won.......

2007-09-01T16:53:00.000+08:00

lol, mega million lottery went up to $330,000,000 U.S Dollars!!! i bought $5 and didnt win...but if i won....lol.....cant tell you what ill do but wait till i win......just jk....but well, fun is over cause someone else won it damn it!

anyways....moving tommrrow to a room that im renting from someone.....

a new place....

but my dream stays.....

Breaking the habit

2007-08-30T14:14:00.000+08:00

Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)Aug 29th 2007

The Bottom Line
Sometimes a good memory can be a curse -- try to let go of the past and move on.
In Detail

Sometimes a good memory can be a blessing, and sometimes it can be a curse -- like today, when a fading friendship makes you wistful for the way things used to be. On the other hand, there is a new acquaintance in your life, and you should feel happy that you have the time you need to build the relationship -- there is a lot of potential there, and you can sense it. People enter and exit your life, and sometimes exits are for the best. Do not think of ending a relationship as a failure.

Jobs

2007-08-26T18:45:00.001+08:00

in order to accomplish my dreams...this semester....its a full time student at college.

1) part time waiter
2) part time assistant manager
3) part time sales person
4) part time whatever job im getting
5) part time online selling product

thats alot.......well, who cares?

Keep that thought

2007-08-25T20:04:00.000+08:00

whatever i wrote on it.

i mean it.

it'll happen.

and till then.

its your choice.

Im back in Cali.

2007-08-24T16:55:00.000+08:00

feels lonely....

but tommrrow i turn over a new leaf,

im a man on a quest, a mission, and even though it seems impossible,

as long as i listen to my heart.

i believe anything is possible.